For those of you who aren't well versed in RAD, Let me give you a little back ground. Miss P has been with us for over two years now, and I can count on two hands the times she has given me a sincere hug. I can count even fewer times that she has displayed a true REAL emotion besides hurt and anger towards myself or Big Daddy. Don't get me wrong, she pretends quite a few emotions, like sorrow, joy, happiness, but rarely are they REAL emotions. They are usually what she thinks you want to hear. BUT TODAY I GOT BOTH!!!!!!! And they were so very real!
Miss P started kindergarten last week. This was a choice that we put a lot of prayer and thought into. Today when she came home from school, I was just cleaning up and she walked right up to me, put her arms around me, and squeezed like no body's business. Not a shrug hug, not a creepy hug, not a stiff hug, she melted into me and REALLY hugged me. And then the impossible happened... she said "I missed you today mommy" in a real voice, with real emotion, and I was able to tell her I missed her too, because I HAVE missed her. Not the crazy Rad induced her, but the real her that I get to see so very rarely.
And then it happened... I felt it, and I cried. I cried so hard I had to leave the room. I cried so hard my kids asked if I was OK. I laughed and told them they were happy tears! I've been doing the happy crying dance all evening. The Lord has blessed us richly indeed! Funny how the hardest kid to love, brings me to tears with the sudden realization that all our hard work to show her love is finally paying off!
She then asked if she could sit with me through our Family Movie Night. And she did, and it was REAL, not stiff and weird! I'm not saying we're out of the woods, but it's nice to see a little progress once in a while. I'm hoping for a few more good days before we have a back slide. I know it's coming. I'm not a pessimist, this is progress, but with progress most of the time we regress a little after. I'm holding tight to the light God shined upon me today through that little blessing. It's going to get me through the darkness!