I've talked about it in the past. I've had very little success finding it. But this week, I finally located it. This "it" I speak of, what is it? HELP! That's what it is! I think I've finally found it, and it's right here in the neighborhood, too!
This help comes in the form of a therapist. I spoke with her on the phone at length about my/our situation and not only does she think she can help me, she knows all about RAD! Unfortunately she doesn't take on kids as clients, but she has several RAD moms in her care. She even asked what therapies we're using! So far I'm thrilled with her. We have our first in person session next week. Let the healing begin.
The downside? I almost threw up just dialing her number. I am terrified, folks! I was literally shaking just leaving a message for her. While we were on the phone and I was giving her some background info, I was nanoseconds from having a panic attack. Reliving the past, and healing old wounds is an EXTREMELY horrifying concept for me. I spent the day just shy of the fetal position, and avoided my family and my parents (sorry mom) for fear of having someone notice my terror and having to talk about it. Who knew healing was so scary?! Writing this post, I'm still feeling a little sick to my stomach, but I am doing it! I will heal, I will get through this, and I will come out the other side better for it, and better for helping my kids heal. I am going to be brave! Don't be fooled, healing is truly hero work. Just ask my kids!
Yes you but you can go and it will be hard but it will be better once you get there and see that she does not have 6 heads or a big knife in her hand. She will get you, she will hear and she can remind you that you are not alone. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteMe! I knew!
ReplyDeleteRemember that day I posted about how proud I was for going to therapy? I did not post that the next day I was totally incapacitated and spent the day on the floor, crying about everything and nothing and trying to shove all the icky sh!t back in the closet. And I think EVERY day-after-therapy day is going to be like that. Therapy totally sucks goose eggs. It is NOT FUN. But girl, we are going to be SO MUCH HEALTHIER on the other end, and next year in Orlando, we are going to talk about how stinking proud we are of ourselves and each other, because you and I will KNOW how hard we have worked. So stick with it.
Corey,
ReplyDeleteJust sitting here thinking you are going through the same stuff makes my heart hurt. Knowing I'm not alone helps, but I hate it that I'm not alone here too. Here's to next year being healthier and hopefully happier than this one. Love you much!
I am really, really, glad you took this step. It was a hard step to take, and the work sucked, but I am pleased that I took it, too. I am still doing the hard work and I believe it is the only way to reach the point that I am most effective helping my kids through their stuff. Miss you. Orlando is so far away!
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