Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Ok, so I may be a bit slow, but I've come to the realization that I have two kiddos that are stuggling with Reactive Attachment Disorder. My youngest daughter is the most affected, but my oldest son is also working towards healing. When we started on this journey, I was blissfully unaware that my beautiful children were not mentally healthy. I fought that idea tooth and nail. I wanted "normal" kids who functioned without issue. I still fight the idea that my kids are not fully integrated into our family, and can't trust us or recieve love. It seems so unjust that after surviving the atrocities of their infancy and toddlerhood, and going through the uncertainty of being in a group foster home, that they cannot allow themselves to be loved by us. Especially when we have so much love to give them. I am working on getting a therapist that understands reactive attachment as well as Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and has a real plan for dealing with these issues. Currently I am just trying to deal day to day in the stuggle to give love to all my little herdlings in a way they can process. Even my Bio kids need love in different ways. So for now this momma is feeling stretched, pulled and downright torn by all the needs my kids have for me.